STAR WARS, INDEED ... Did you know that while many of us children of the 80’s were worrying about the Soviet Union using a nuclear bomb against us, Reagan and Gorbechev made an unofficial pact for our countries to band together against extraterrestrials should they attack Earth. Very, very interesting. Do you think they knew something we didn’t?
MICKEY D'S DIFFERENT STROKES ... I took my sister to an interview a few weeks ago, and while she was in the interview, I took the girls to the McDonalds around the corner. We were in a pretty swanky part of Charlotte. The girls wanted to know if they could play on the playground after they finished eating. Thinking we’d have a good hour to waste until Cori got out of her interview, I agreed. But, when we got there, there was no playground. There was, however, a grand piano in the center of the restaurant. Maybe the kids that go to this particular McDonalds in the swanky part of town play Mozart instead of in plastic tubes and ball pits.
REALLY?? ... Okay, there’s this kid whose (obviously) wonderful parents let him drop out of school so that he can focus on playing Guitar Hero professionally. Yeah, I don’t know what to say to that, except is there such a thing as a Professional Guitar Hero Player? Jenners?
COMMERCIAL #1 ... I love the hair poof-outs in the brain fart kgb.com commercial.
BUT WAIT! ... You know what other commercial I love? The Slap Chop! Vince, the ShamWow guy is back with his Garth Brooks-style mic. The lines in this thing are fantastic:
- You’re going to be in a great mood all day because you’re going to be slapping your troubles away.
- Stop having the boring tuna, stop having a boring life…Add the tuna, you’re going to have an exciting life now.
- You’re going to love my nuts!
- One, two, and pops open, like that, like a butterfly…
- The onions, with the skin? This is making you cry, it’s making me cry. Life’s hard enough as it is, you don’t want to cry anymore.
- We’re gonna make America skinny again – one slap at a time.
- Tacos, fettuccini, linguine, martini, bikini…