Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Devil is Monitoring My Caloric Intake

MORE FROM THE FUNNIEST KID ON THE PLANET
The other day my 3 year-old niece Bebe told my brother-in-law when he wouldn't get her more juice that when she got her paycheck, she was going to go the store and get herself some juice. When asked how she was going to get there, she said she was going to drive her Barbie jeep.

When her big sister Yaya was 4, she told her parents she wanted a cheeseburger, to which they said, “Okay,” meaning they’d go get her one in a while. When they couldn’t find her in the house a few minutes later, they started scouring the neighborhood. My brother-in-law found her about 6 houses away, walking up the road. He put her in the truck to take her back home. Once back at the house they asked her where she was walking. She said she was going to get a cheeseburger at the little family restaurant that they often go to, which is about 2 miles away and on a major road. They asked her if she was going to walk all the way there. She said, “I was going to walk and run and skip.”

IS THIS SOME KIND OF COSMIC WAY OF TELLING ME I NEED TO GO ON A DIET?
I’ve been hormonally and emotionally eating this week. A lot of eating, is what I’m saying. I went to the store Monday afternoon to pick up a soda. When the guy rang up my soda (or 2 Dr. Peppers, a box of Gobstoppers, a bag of Mini Oreos, and a Baby Ruth), it came to $6.66. Yesterday morning I stopped to get a breakfast biscuit (or 2 biscuits and a gigantic sweet tea. The eating is out of control the last few days, I’m telling ya!). Guess what the total was? Yeah. $6.66. Hmmm… Today I ate a granola bar for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine lunch, and a bowl of soup for dinner. I GET IT, OKAY??

FUNNY THINGS I HEARD ON THE RADIO OR TV THIS WEEK
- A perk for guys picking up women at Walmart…you already know a woman's children’s names because of her tattoos. (Chris Kelly, 2 Guys Named Chris radio show)

- Lifetime Shower – When you’ve heard or experienced something especially disturbing, you may feel the need to take a “Lifetime shower”, which is the act of collapsing in a shower, rocking back and forth with your knees pulled up to your chest, while you have an ugly cry. (Deidre James, 2 Guys Named Chris radio show)

- The way I feel very often: Caught between a rock and a crazy place. (Leonard, The Big Bang Theory)

MUTUAL OF OMAHA
Official sponsor of the aha moment. Really? I didn’t know that you could be the official sponsor of something like that. And, if you could, didn’t Oprah start the aha moment thing, like, 8 years ago?

BECAUSE I'M A MAGPIE SCROUNGING BLOG THINGS FROM EVERYONE ELSE
Jenners did this celebrity look alike thing from My Heritage site. You upload a picture, then it analyzes your face and gives you the celebrities you most look like. I tried six different pictures to see if I had any crossovers. One picture got almost exclusively male returns ranging from Matt LeBlanc to Andy Kaufman to Hugh Jackman (no, Bookkitten, I don’t look like Hugh Jackman). A few women showed up several times: Kristin Kreuk (Lana Lang on Smallville) showed up with 4 pictures. Isabella Rossellini and Geena Davis showed up for 3 pictures. And, Cate Blanchett was on 2 lists. Here are the results using the picture from the blog (the fetching one). Personally, I don’t think I look like any of these women, although I sure wish I did!

9 comments:

Dan said...

At least it believed in you. When i tried it it just kept saying it couldn't find a face in the pictures. Maybe I'm a ghost with all this white hair.

cybill said...

I'm not going to try that celebrity look-alike, I'd prefer not to know that I look like Danny DeVito!
I'm with you on the eating, just can't stop, I think i'm going to have to title 2009 - the year of the buffet.

Protege said...

That is so funny with your niece walking off!;) Kids are so natural and honest.;))
I think from the photo look alike you do look like Isabella actually; there is something there.
But to be honest with you, you look so much better than any of these women.;)))

Diane said...

I saw Isabella Rosselini, too! Not in person, mind you, but in that picture. Of course, I've never seen Isabella Rosselini in person, so who knows?

You know I haven't been sleeping well lately, right? Well, my eyes are obviously tired because when I clicked on the link to take me here and 'bodieoracle' popped into my browser address window, I read it as 'biodegradable' and I thought, "How and WHY did she change her address to THAT?" Like I said, I'm tired (and an idiot... clearly).

Heather said...

Oh my gosh, I laughed SO hard at the $6.66 stuff. I even read it aloud to the woman who sits in the cubicle next to me!! She laughed too! :)
You're hilarious!!!

Jenners said...

Ok...this was so filled of funny things.

The kid stories are priceless! I loved it! And she sure needed a cheeseburger NOW!

I think you are getting messages ... too weird on the 666 thing. On a somewhat related note, I bought 4 items at a grocery story the other day and it added up to exactly $5.00. I was so excited ... the cashier was just bored and like "OK, Lady. Get the hell out."

And you made out like a bandit on the celebrity look alikes -- even though you totally cheated and did it over and over. And I do see you kind of looking like Ms. Rosselini.

And so much of it is how you hold your face in the photo I think.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

I tried the celebrity thing - it came up with Mr Ed, Rin-tin-tin and Flipper, so I deleted it.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

This is a hoot, Mel! I love the looky likey thing and have tried it - To my surprise no male celebs came up, which was a relief as I never think I am very delicate, or photogenic!

There is a real resemblance - You are gorgeous, and who cares if you're in league with the Devil?! x

blueviolet said...

The $6.66 stuff would scare me fat-free too! I do see the resemblance in some of those photos to you.