Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Mel Needs

My friend Lisa told me to google my name and the word “needs” and see what comes up. So I did. Here are some of the things that “Mel needs” according to Google.

Mel needs...

  • ...no introduction when she walks in a room.
  • ...to become somewhat flexible and leave some of the pigheadedness behind.
  • ...to stop lying and just confess.
  • ...to rise above the poop.
  • ...to look on the bright side.
  • ...such special care.
  • ...to come up with a scheme.
  • ...to hire someone to fix this mess.
  • ...geeky help.
  • ...to assert more authority.
  • ...some balls.
  • ...help with extraordinary expenses.
  • ...money.
  • ...someone like Nick to straighten her out. (I hope Nick is cute!)
  • ...Mr. Jennings. (hmm…wonder if Nick is Mr. Jennings)
  • ...a big wet sloppy kiss.
  • ...to add some sparkle and color to her wardrobe.
  • ...a diamond necklace.
  • ...a bra.
  • ...to become more tolerant.
  • ...to get educated.
  • ...to maintain her dignity.
  • ...to have some fun.
  • ...massage treatment.
  • ...to trade her present car for a magic carpet.
  • ...a good theme song for her sneaky forays.
  • ...to shave Phelps at the trials. (I’d rather the other swimmer, though, and not really the shaving part. Can't I pick some other activity? Wait! What???)
  • ...a good spanking.
  • ...to say a million Hail Marys for even thinking about that.
  • ...to edit more.
  • ...to calm her ass down.
  • ...to stop now before she gets worse than she already is.
  • ...to go; she is annoying.
  • ...your prayers.
  • ...the loo.

9 comments:

Protege said...

Oh my goodness Mel; a Mel needs many things.;)
"A good spanking" made me laugh out loud!
The diamond necklace could be good.;)) And of course every girl need some fun.;)
So, tell me Mel, is any of these things something that you, as Mel, really need?;)))

Kitten said...

That was hysterical! I'm going to have to try that sometime.

I like the one that says "to come up with a scheme." What do you have in mind, my dear? :)

Heather said...

My favorite was, "Mel needs to say a million Hail Marys for even thinking about that."
What, exactly, were you thinking?? Naughty thoughts about your swim boy? Shame, shame.

Jenners said...

This is so funny! I've got to do this! Google is so amazing ... but why does Google want you to go? What have you been doing to annoy Google? It is because you need a bra? Have you been bouncing around and hitting Google in the face?

Diane said...

I totally agree with many, many of those. Now I have to try it.

Oh, and your birthday card got here. And it made me laugh out loud. Cool. Thanks!

everydaysies said...

Just curious: Did you Google Mr. Nick Jennings????

Momma

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Poo. Tried "J Cosmo needs" and got no results. Am I self-sufficient?

Andy said...

Mel this is a great idea... I do hope you get a magical carpet, and sloppy kisses.

sallymandy said...

How funny! I'm going to try it. I guess you knew you'd have a lot of copycats when you posted this? That's a great idea.