Yesterday I had one of those days where, even though you know you’re a pretty smart person, you just can’t get it together to actually be that smart person. A couple of the girls at work and I were talking about lettuce. You know, as you do. All of us agreed that we didn’t like lettuce on sandwiches. I don’t know how this came up, now that I’m thinking about it. It may have had something to do with the whole peanut butter issue that’s in the news. Which could have led to peanut butter sandwiches. Then to other kinds of sandwiches. I seem to remember something about grilled cheese sandwiches made with mayonnaise, not butter. And, that possibly could have led to what we didn’t like on sandwiches. Hence, lettuce. (Yeah, the special meds for my healing tooth/gum aren’t doing any favors for my brain, obviously.) The subject of a BLT came up. And this is a close approximation of our conversation about BLTs:
Betty: What about a BLT?
Me: Well, that would be a whole other sandwich if you left the lettuce off of it. I mean, “lettuce” is in the name.
Joyce: What would you call it then?
Joyce looks off into space like you do when you’re trying hard to visualize the answer to something.
Me: An LT? No, that can’t be right. It’s still got the L in it. A… B? T? A BT!!
Betty shakes her head and laughs at Joyce and me.
Joyce: That was HARD!
Me: I KNOW!!
Sadly, I don’t think either of us was joking that much!
It made me think of the time that I was at Wally World buying stuff for Halloween. I heard this song playing and I looked around thinking I had set off a motion activated monster. But I didn’t see one. I walked over to the candy aisle, and threw a few bags in the cart. And, there was the song again. I figured instead of a motion activated monster, there must have been some special toy in one of the candy bags and I had picked up the same kind of bag that someone on the other aisle had. I thought I must have accidentally pressed the button to make the monster music start when I threw the candy bags in my cart. I heard the song off and on as I finished up my shopping and as I was paying for my purchases. I figured the jostling from adding things to the cart and from being bagged at the checkout kept pressing the on button to the toy in whichever candy bag it was in. I even mentioned to the girl behind the counter that the toy from the candy kept playing that song she was hearing. She just stared at me.
I put the bags on the front seat of my car and started driving back to work. Well, I’ll be danged if the song didn’t come on as I was driving down the road! I hadn’t even touched the candy bags! At the next stoplight, I opened some of the bags. I started pulling candy out and throwing it all over the place, trying to find that stupid noisy toy! But, I couldn’t find it!! I got back to work, took all the bags of candy in with me, and told my co-worker Lisa about the stupid song that kept playing and was coming from one of the stupid candy bags! Then the phone at my desk rang, so I went back to my desk to answer it. It was my sister and the first thing she said was: I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU FOR THE LAST HOUR ON YOUR CELL PHONE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???
Well, let’s see, I had been at Wally World, then in my car, then back at work going crazy trying to figure out where the stupid “Halloween” song was coming from. And, as it turned out, it was coming from my own damn phone!