Thursday, December 18, 2008

Writer's Workshop - Dear Santa

If it's Thursday, it must be Writer's Workshop! Check out Mama's Losin' It.

Dear Santa,
Please see below for my Christmas list.

I don’t want a lot. Really. I’ve been a very good girl. Well, you know! I’m sure I’m on your Nice List. Check to make sure, but I bet my name is there. Just keep in mind when you are making arrangements for my gifts how sweet, generous, loving, and unselfish I’ve been this year. And, pretty much every year ever. I'm also very humble!

  1. The ability to eat fried mozzarella sticks, chocolate cake, and Hungry Howie’s pizza without worrying about fat and/or calories.
  2. A weekly visit from a hairdresser to keep my roots done, my ends trimmed, and the frizz and curls under control.
  3. Someone to drive me to and from work so that I can either sleep, read, or play on the interwebs instead of hollering at other drivers and pushing my imaginary bomb and missile launch buttons when someone cuts in front of me or ticks me off.
  4. An unlimited supply of candy corn, miniature Reese’s cups, Twizzlers, and Dr. Pepper.
  5. No cavities.
  6. Perkier boobies.
  7. Matthew Rhys to whisper sweet nothings in my ear and then kiss me silly.
  8. Sally Hanson to start making Beige Balance fingernail polish again. Seriously!
  9. Tubs and tubs and tubs of Bath and Body Works Mega Butter. (and Matthew Rhys to rub it in)
  10. A new Harry Potter book.
  11. To look in a bathing suit like I did when I was 18 (see #6).
  12. SPACE CAMP BABY!
  13. For Charlotte to not be so all-fired steamy and humid next summer.
  14. All the sweet tea and biscuits I can possibly drink and eat.
  15. To be 5 or 6 inches taller.
  16. For people to lose interest in who Jennifer Aniston is dating and whether or not she wants a baby, like, two years ago. So. Bored. By. Her. Anymore.
  17. Friday Night Lights and Pushing Daisies to NOT be canceled next year.
  18. All of my unwanted body hair to magically disappear! Poof!!
  19. Those Hills kids to GTFO!!
  20. And last, but not least: Him. 6 Please. Now. Thank you!

Love,

Melanie XXOO



I will never, ever stop being socially unacceptable when it comes to Ryan Lochte. NEV-AH! Okay, maybe some day, but not right now.

12 comments:

Protege said...

Ah Mel, this was a fun read! May I steal some of your wishes, or is it just a bad karma?;))
In any case, I wish you a wonderful Christmas and for ALL of your wishes to come true!:)))
xoxo

Shanna said...

Bahahaha! Loved number 3! What is GTFO? I have an idea about the GTF but the O threw me!

Anonymous said...

Wow! how much better HE looks with out that silly swim cap...

Heather's M

Heather said...

LOVED your list!!!! Your boy is a hottie!! :)
And I too, would like to be able to eat as much as I like without gaining weight. Could you tell Santa to let me in on that one?

Diane said...

OK, seriously, just how good do you think you've been? 'Cause... ummm... I'm thinking of a few things that would very possibly keep you off that 'nice' list. Not that I'm gonna rush a letter off to the Fat Boy (since we're not speaking an all)... just sayin'.

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

Dear Santa...

Me too! Me too! Just double her order and send it to me too!

Love Saundra

blueviolet said...

I'm so completely in agreement with you about The Hills. Enough already.

Jenners said...

This was so hilarious! I want most of those things too but I'll change my boy toy to Paul Rudd -- I am just in love with him.

But of all of them, if I could only pick one, give me the one about not gaining weight and eating what I want. I think that knocks off about 10 of the others on the list, doesn't it?

Jen said...

Oh I love your list. I totally want #1.

Shanna said...

Hahahah thanks for the link to the illustrated explanation of gtfo! I had it mostly right and to think all that was missing was the 'out'. DUH! ;)

Have a superb weekend!

Heather said...

Me again... I was going to reply to your comment on my page, but was afraid you wouldn't see it, so I figured I'd just leave it here.
As far as the story about watching or washing the baby... I don't know. It definitely sounded like she was having some guilt/over defensive issues in her Christmas letter. You made a very good point.
And I've never heard him do SantaLand Diaries, but reading it was hilarious. I'll have to go to that link and listen to it. I'd love to hear him tell it. I bet I'd pee from laughing so much.
Anyway, have a GREAT Christmas and eat lots and lots of goodies (Santa is gonna keep you from gaining weight, right??)
And if you get your HOT boy, tell him I said hi.. and send me a shirtless picture! :)

Heinous said...

Now if only we cold get those buttons installed on our cars for real. That would be okay too.