- A STRIPPER POLE BY ANY OTHER NAME - Have you seen the commercial for Flirty Girl Fitness? The dvd Booty Beats uses “easy-to-do, fun, sexy dance moves to dramatically reshape your body.” It’s only $9.99. BUT WAIT! Call now and you’ll get an additional dvd called Chair Dance. And, don’t forget to “ask the operator how you can try the Flirty Girl fitness pole in your own home for only $1!” And then explain that pole to your kids and your grandma. “Really, Granny! It’s just a fitness pole. And that dvd called Chair Dance? It’s not teaching me how to give a lap dance. It’s kind of like that Sit and Be Fit Lady that’s on tv.” Seriously, though, it looks kind of fun and I’m thinking about getting it. But, not the $1 pole.
- *TARBUCKS MENU CHALKBOARD:
*Muffins Nobody Eats
*CDs by People You Think You Should Like
- NO BABY DADDY, THANK GOODNESS - I just watched Wuthering Heights on Masterpiece Theatre last night. Oh yeah! Now I remember I didn’t like this story at all. Ever. If Cathy and Heathcliff had ever had a child together, it would have been one crazy mofo of a kid!
- IN THE CATEGORY I'M MORE TALENTED THAN YOU ARE - This morning I was running late for work, and I brushed my teeth with my left hand while I shaved my legs with my right hand. No lie. Clean teeth and smooth legs all within the 2-minute timer limit of my electric toothbrush.
- I WORK BETTER IN PAJAMAS - When I lived in Richmond I worked downtown in a fancy office building. I had to wear dresses, skirts, nice slacks, heels, and pantyhose. Always panty-freakin’-hose. I still work for the same company, but I work in an office that’s in a warehouse. It’s very casual, so at my dressiest I wear khakis. And, many days I actually go to work in jeans. We found out yesterday that we were having a bunch of prospective clients come in for a tour and presentation, and The Powers That Be asked us all to dress appropriately. So, this morning after my teeth were brushed and my legs were shaved, I put on pantyhose for the first time in about 2 years. OMG! I was sweating by the time I got them on! How did I do that every single day of the week? That alone could have been the reason I weighed less then. I remembered I had some yoga pants and a t-shirt in my drawer at work and some sneakers in the back of my car, so as soon as everyone left, I got comfortable, baby!
- WHAT THE...? - When I was looking for some pantyhose in my drawer this morning, I came across some fishnet stockings that I don’t remember buying. Maybe I will get that $1 Flirty Girl “Fitness” Pole after all! And, by the way, does anyone know where to buy pasties?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Thesaurus is working overtime this week!