My sister has me listening to the audiobooks of the Twilight series. She adores them. I’ve never seen her like this about anything before. I’ve just finished the first one, and I have to say the writing is a little amateurish. It’s nothing I haven’t told Cori, so I won’t be putting my thoughts about her favorite book on front street without her knowing about it. It’s not the best vampire book I’ve ever come across, but it’ll do. I liked Dracula by Bram Stoker best. It’s so eerie and moody.
Twilight is the teenaged girl’s vampire novel. Bella, the heroine, is a teenager, and her boyfriend Edward was made a vampire when he was only 17. He, of course, is achingly handsome and much deeper than anyone else she’s ever met. She thinks she’s a plain Jane, but she’s obviously attractive enough to catch the eye of at least four guys within the first couple of weeks at her new school, and they’re all tripping over each other to ask her to the dance (even though it’s actually a Sadie Hawkins-type dance). So, I’m thinking she’s not so much of a Plain Jane. Some of the plot points are very Sweet Valley High. I remember hearing an interview with Francine Pascal (the creator of the Sweet Valley High series) on NPR on All Things Considered or Fresh Air, one or the other. She said that she learned a long time ago that all books written about teenagers had to end at the Prom, or at least at The Big Dance. So, where does the last scene in Twilight take place? Of course it’s AT THE PROM!!
There’s been something bothering me about the book, though. It finally occurred to me last night. Edward, the 17 year-old achingly handsome and deep vampire, was born in 1901. He was dying from the Spanish Flu in 1918 when he was made a vampire - BY HIS DOCTOR (first do no harm, my patootie). What hit me is that he’s 90 years older than his new non-vampire girlfriend! How is that acceptable? I don’t care if he does just look like a very pale 17 year-old boy, he’s still 107 years old. What if he actually looked his age? That would be scary wrong! Like, worse than Anna Nicole Smith and her freaky old-man husband wrong. (Now try getting THAT picture out of your head.)
So, now I’m all preoccupied with the creepy May-December-(5 years later)–ishness rather than the young true love romance that I think was the aim of the author, and it’s permeating all their interactions for me. Sucks!
Seriously, though, if Edward really looked like a 107 year-old man instead of an achingly handsome 17 year-old guy, Bella would so not be in love with him!
By-the-way, Edward is achingly handsome. Did you know that?