Christmas - Part 1

Christmas is (almost) over. I’m always astounded at how long it takes to prepare the meal and clean up after it, but how little time it actually takes to consume. I seriously thought I would be washing dishes all afternoon. And, my grandmother insists on having this tub in the sink and doing the dishes in there. I’ve tried to take it out and wash dishes like a normal person (or at least a normal person who doesn’t own a dishwasher), but she gets all bent out of shape when I do it. So, when the water starts getting cold, it’s not as simple as pulling out the drain plug, you have to lift up this outrageously heavy tub and tilt it just right so that you don’t spill cold dirty water all over the countertop. And, really? We need to have the dish to cook it in, the dish to serve it in, and then the dish to store it in? Really? Three dishes for green peas that nobody but I ate anyway? That seems excessive. Not to mention washing the silver and the fancy dishes before and after the meal. I’m a simple girl. Give me red plastic plates and flatware any day! But, my aunt points out that we don’t know how many more years Granny will be able to serve dinner, so we need to just suck it up and do it the way she wants. Um? Thanks Anne! Way to bring down Christmas.

And…I just realized I wrote a whole paragraph about washing dishes. That’s exciting stuff! Moving on…

I was supposed to head to The Big D on Tuesday night, but Daddy told me to wait until Wednesday morning and get a good night’s sleep. Happy to do it! I got to Daddy and Linda’s house around 1pm on Christmas Eve, and for the first Christmas Eve that I remember Daddy didn’t have to drag me around town on 50,000 last minute errands. We had absolutely nothing to do except sit around the house and sneak pieces of ham! When we were growing up, Sissy and I would be sitting at Granny Dink’s window watching for his car on Christmas Eve. He would get there and bring in tons of plastic bags with our presents in them. He would pause to kiss us hello, then he’d lock himself in Granny Dink’s bedroom for at least an hour while he wrapped everything. Even up until last year, we were wrapping presents for Linda, among other things. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wrapped my own gifts from him. Not this year! I actually played on the internet for a while Christmas Eve because there was nothing left to do.

My step-sister and her family came by before going to church on Christmas Eve and sang Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer to us like they were real carolers. My nephew Hunter was kind of bashful and was hiding his face. My nephew Zachary was smiling from ear to ear, and staring at me the whole time. The boys and I tracked Santa on the NORAD website while they were there. I showed them the movies that different countries had made of when Santa visited them. Zachary said he saw Santa waving at him in the Paris video. Also, Hunter, who has a crush on Taylor Swift, informed me that I had the wrong title of her song. It’s not Romeo and Juliet, it’s Love Story. Take that, Aunt Mel!

The next morning I went over to my sister’s house to see what Santa had brought my nieces Alex and Brianna. They both got a new bike, they got a big indoors playhouse to share, and a bunch of smaller stuff. Alex got a “rudio” A what? I asked. “A rudio! A rudio!” What is a rudio? I asked. “You know what a rudio is!” I hated to admit I really did not know what a rudio was. Turns out a rudio is actually a radio, and it plays the Camp Rock and Jonas Brothers cds she got too. Brianna’s hair looked funny and when I asked why, Cori said she had walked into the living room the other day and there were chunks of golden hair on the floor lying beside a pair of scissors. Brianna gave herself a little shag haircut. Isn’t that nice?

Then it was over to my Granny’s house to do all of that pre-dinner washing up . It was about 70 degrees outside and about 125 degrees inside. Anne and I opened all of the windows, which got all under Granny’s skin. We plan for this. We all come to Christmas layered in clothing because we know it’s going to feel like a boiler room in the house, and we can peel off clothes as needed. Being 70 degrees anyway, we could only layer so much this year, so we really had nothing to take off. Granny stood in the middle of the living room floor and proclaimed: It is December! What does that mean, we all asked. She said, It means it’s supposed to be warm inside because it’s cold outside. Well, one, it wasn’t cold outside; and two, it’s not supposed to be so warm we would be uncomfortable in tank tops and shorts, really. Other than the heat issue, which is nothing new, Christmas day was nice and relatively drama free. And, I didn’t even spill a whole bowl of banana pudding before anyone could eat it this year!! So, yay for me!

I go back to The Big D for Christmas, part 2 next weekend when my step-brother and his family come to town. Then Christmas 2008 will be officially over, and 2009 can begin.

My Weekend Starring A, B and the Hip Hooray

This weekend I helped my mom move back to our hometown, The Big D. I drove the big old gigantic moving truck for her. Luckily, the The Big D’s Christmas parade (or Hip Hooray as Brianna called it) was this Saturday night while I was in town so I was able to see my niece Alex march in it with her little cheerleading group. She was so excited to be in the parade and she was adorable in her uniform! It was FREEZING! Alex was dressed in layers upon layers upon layers of clothes. This is her before the parade at the staging area.Brianna was very excited to be sitting (or wallowing, as she is in this picture) on the ground waiting for the "Hip Hooray" to start.

Unfortunately, it didn't start until after dark, so it was hard to see very much, honestly. Alex's group went by us so fast and she was on the opposite side of the road from where we were sitting. I crossed the street between their group and the next one and took off running down the street trying to get a picture of Alex marching and doing cheers, but one of their coaches was in my way the whole time.

Afterwards, we got to warm up at the Farmer’s Market with hot cocoa, chocolate chip cookies, and candy canes.

I was feeling pretty good that night because the woman in charge of the booster club that oversees the cheerleading group asked me if I had my driver’s license because she wanted me to move her car from the staging area to the Farmer's Market. I don’t know whether she was legally blind or whether my most flattering light is exactly and only at 5pm on December 13th in the old Sears parking lot of The Big D, but I guess I was looking especially young. 15 or 16 years old young, I’m not so sure about.

Today, the girls and I made Christmas ornaments for their Mommy, Daddy, MeeMaw and Granny. I put the names on the ornaments and they decorated them with snowflake and dog-in-Santa-hat stickers. Brianna made me sing "This Little Light Of Mine" over and over again. And she sang "Ah-sturbia" to me (you know, the song by Rhianna). Alex got very upset when she found out I had to leave to come back to Charlotte. She started crying and told me she wanted me to move to The Big D, and that I could share her room and sleep in her bed and we could cuddle. My heart just broke in two leaving her like that.

So that was my weekend. More exciting than some, less exciting than others, but because of the hugs and kisses and cuddles, better than most.

My Favorite Sound

Do you know what one of the best sounds in the world is, at least to me? When my sister asks my nieces, “Does anyone want to talk to Aunt Melanie?” And, two little girls scream “Yes!” and I can hear them stampeding towards the phone.
My 3 year-old niece Brianna is truly one of the funniest kids I’ve ever met. And, I’ve met some funny kids. Yesterday on the phone, she said she was going to tell me a story. So, I sat back waiting for a doozy, as usual. She told me to hold on because she had to go get something. She put the phone down, then leaned down to talk into it again and said, “Don’t move!” So, I stayed still. This is how it went after she got back to the phone:

B – Now I’m going to tell you a story. I have the credit card and you have to say what the people want.

I found this especially interesting, since I’m pretty sure that her parents don’t use credit cards. But, I played along.

Me - Brianna wants a doll. Aunt Mel wants a new pair of red shoes. Mommy wants a ...

B - No, no! That’s not what they want!!

Me – Well, what do they want?

B – (giggle) They want food!!

Me – Okay, Brianna wants a hot dog. Aunt Mel wants chocolate cake.

B – (giggle) Noooooo! You want a hot dog!!

Me – All right. Aunt Mel wants a hot dog. Brianna wants broccoli.

B – (more giggling) No! You have to say it like this: Brianna, what do you want? Then you have to say: Brianna wants the buffet. Then you say: Yayex, what do you want? Yayex wants the buffet. Aunt Carol, what do you want? Aunt Carol wants the buffet. Taylor, what do you want? Taylor wants the buffet.

Sooo, I guess she must have gone out to dinner with her father’s family, where dinner was paid for with a credit card and everyone ate at the buffet? Little pitchers and their big ears. I mean, seriously, a credit card? She's 3! When I asked her what a buffet was, she told me it was when you have cake and sing. Things must be so confusing to little kids sometimes. Buffets/Birthdays. Credit cards. It's a lot of information for them to make sense of.

Then she sang Jesus Loves Me to me 5 times and "read" me a book which apparently contains the line "I cried because I was so beautiful!"

(Actually, it really did. Kind of, anyway. It's a book called Pinkalicious and the heroine eats too many pink cupcakes and turns pink herself. When she sees herself in the mirror, she thinks she's so beautiful as a pink little girl, that it makes her cry from happiness.)

3rd of 3rd - Ambiguous meme tag

Diane at Diane’s Addled Ramblings didn’t want to do an official tag, so she tagged anyone who wanted to do a 4th photo of their 4th folder photo post. I’m taking her up on it. I already did my 4th of 4th a couple of weeks ago, and I don’t have a 5th folder at all, so I’m going to do my 3rd of 3rd.

It’s a brand new picture taken of my niece by my sister. Her “line” is called “Mom Couture”. It’s a repurposed Gymboree baby blanket with a designer duct tape belt, headband, bracelet and shoulder strap. Is the asymmetrical look still in this season? Well, take a look at this fantastic outfit and tell me it isn’t.

The girls are always bringing blankets to Cori and asking her to tie them on. Since they're blankets, they untie pretty quickly. So, when B brought Cori this blanket and asked her to tie it, Cori looked down and saw a roll of duct tape and had an idea. She wrapped the duct tape around and around the blanket so that it would stay on. As B started to walk away, Cori thought it looked like a dress with a belt, so she got to work on the accessories, making a headband and strap before taking the scraps and making bracelets and the flower for the belt. She had started working on a pocketbook, but she ran out of duct tape before she could finish it.

I know I'm biased, but seriously, is she not one of the cutest kids you've ever seen?

Skin a Marinky Dinky Dink

My sister and nieces singing Skin a Marinky Dinky Dink...

Kids today

What is it with the kids today? First my beautiful, talented, brilliant 9 year-old goddaughter throws around two 25 cent words like metamorphose and genre like an old pro. Then Alex, that self-contained little thing that she is, almost knocks me off my feet this afternoon with something she said.

The girls sing me songs on the phone sometimes. This week B has been singing me the song about the five little ducks that go over the hill and far away, and each time one fewer comes back. Today Alex sang me a bunch of songs, mostly made up. Then she wanted me to sing her songs. So, I sang her Little Bunny Foo Foo, but being only 5 years old she didn’t get the moral of the song, “Hare today, Goon tomorrow”. She thought there should be more to the song. Then I sang the “Sugar in the morning, sugar in the evening, sugar at suppertime” song my great-grandmother used to sing to me. She wanted me to sing one more song so I sung the following song that my Aunt Anne learned in elementary school (to the tune of “Funiculi, Funicula”):

One day I took with me upon the subway
My High Silk Hat, My High Silk Hat
I sat it on the seat beside me
My High Silk Hat, My High Silk Hat
A big fat lady came and sat upon it
My High Silk Hat, It looked like that (sung in a tiny voice)
A big fat lady came and sat upon it
My High Silk Hat, It looked like that
Christopher Columbus, what do you think of that?
A big fat lady, she sat upon my hat,
My hat she broke and that’s no joke
My hat she broke and that’s no joke!!!!!
Christopher Columbus, what do you think of that?

Alex was quiet for a second, but then she asked, “Who is Christopher Columbus?” She’s so thoughtful about everything and those little wheels are turning all the time. As beautiful as she always is, she’s never more beautiful than when she’s trying to figure something out. It’s breathtaking.

Hmmm, so how do you explain Christopher Columbus to a five year-old? I thought for a second and started, “He was a man that lived a long time ago and he wanted to go on an adventure. So he got a boat and …” She stopped me, “Oh! I know who he is!” I thought she was just bored with my story already, so I asked, “Who is he?” And she busts out this nugget: “He’s a man who went sailing on the ocean and found America.” Well, yes, that’s absolutely true!

I told her she was so smart, and she said, “I know. I’m probably smarter than you.” Well, no doubt! Then she asked, “Aunt Mel, did you go to college?” I said, “Yes I did, but I didn’t finish.” I guess to her the “yet” was implied in that sentence because she said, “Oh, that’s where you are now? In college?”

Um, um, um, no baby girl, but all these years I’ve wanted to go back and your little 5 year-old logic might be the very incentive I need to go back and finish up because the thought of disappointing you is worse than the thought of disappointing anyone else in the world, including myself.

More B

Oh, Brianna! She’s so cute you just want to eat her up with a spoon. It’s a good thing, too, because otherwise she’d be in a world of trouble! I called Cori yesterday afternoon and I could hear B crying in the background. Okay, let’s be honest, she was throwing a fit. I was like, what in the world? But I was laughing at it because I know Cori and I know the girls and I know that it couldn’t be so serious that it would make me worry about why she would be screaming like that. Cori said that B still wouldn’t stop saying “dammit”. She said she’d tried putting hot sauce in her mouth to make her stop and that didn’t work. Okay, I’m not sure why she thought that would work since this is the kid that could eat a plateful of ketchup for dinner. She probably thought hot sauce was dessert. Cori said she did cry because of it, but I’m convinced B cried because Cori made her eat it and she didn’t choose to do it herself. She still kept saying dammit and calling Alex a dammit. So, Cori thought she’d try the old standby of washing her mouth out with soap.

I guess doing that isn’t as simple as it used to be because who uses bar soaps anymore? So Cori squirted a little liquid soap on her fingers and put it in B’s mouth. She told her to stay in the bathroom (just in case she made herself sick either from the soap or the crying jag that followed). I’m still not convinced it bothered B so much that she had soap in her mouth rather than that it was forced upon her and she didn’t choose to do it herself. Because honestly I can totally see her eating soap. Every time I give her a bath I have to tell her not to drink the water, so I don’t think soap is a strange taste to her.

I asked Cori if I could talk to B. First B said she didn’t want to talk to me, but Cori told her I had a secret to tell her and she took the phone. It took a couple of minutes before she would talk to me, but she ended up telling me that Momma had put orange stuff in her mouth. She went back to the bathroom, put the phone up to the soap container, and “showed” me the orange stuff. Then she told me that I had to come to her house and look at it “Right now!” I asked her why Momma put the orange stuff in her mouth and she said, “Because I called Yayex a dammit.”

Yeah, so that worked.

Brianna

Brianna’s grounded from going outside because she keeps saying “Dammit”. Alex told Cori that B called her a bad name. What did she call you? Cori asked. She called me a dammit!

On the phone a couple of days ago, Cori told me to hold on. Then I heard her say, “Brianna, put your pants on!” Why did she take her pants off? I asked. I don’t know, she’s Brianna, Cori said.