Thursday, April 23, 2009

Still a Little Rusty

I have this pile of post-it notes stuck inside my little calendar book that is full of stuff I observed while I was on hiatus. The thing is most of the notes consist of one or two words that aren’t making a lot of sense now that I’m looking at them some weeks later. Like, when I wrote “Born to Run” on a sticky note, was that in reference to Bruce Springsteen’s alleged indiscretion or was it a suggestion for the title of commitment-phobic part of my autobiography (i.e. ages 10 through, well… now, I guess)?

Speaking of suggestions for the title of my autobiography… A couple of weeks ago I was listening to All My Children, and there was a scene where Erica and Ryan were stuck out in the middle of nowhere with a broken down car. Erica was asking Ryan to leave her daughter Kendall alone so that Kendall could get back with her husband Zach. Erica kind broke down and said, “How are you supposed to save a family when everyone has gone insane?” I was like, Oh. My. God! That’s the name of my biography! (Yes, I still love my soaps, especially One Life to Live, which I happen to think is one of the best shows on tv ever, and no offense to any of my family that might be reading this, because, come on, that’s funny!)

Rub A Dub Dub… A couple of weeks ago I was organizing the cabinets in my bathroom. I came across a tube of Bath and Body Works Midnight Path lotion. So, after my shower the next morning I squirted some of it in my hand and started to rub it on my left arm. I hadn’t put that much on, but I couldn’t get it to absorb all the way no matter how long I rubbed (and rubbed and rubbed and rubbed). I finally used a towel to wipe away the excess. I used a little less on my right arm, but still no matter how much I rubbed I couldn’t get it to absorb. I thought maybe it had gone bad or something, so I looked for an expiration date on the tube. That’s when I realized I had been trying to rub in creamy body wash, not lotion. Doi!!

Duck and Cover… A couple of weeks ago we had yet another bank robbery around the corner from where I work. However, this time the SWAT team didn’t surround our building and take positions on the roof because one of our temporary warehouse employees used his lunch hour to perform a little felony. Nope. This time we just listened to helicopters fly overhead for an hour. Ah…Fun times!

I’ll take a #8, Hard Shell, no lettuce… We’re getting a new fast food restaurant near work. The only ones we’re missing in our area are Wendy’s and Taco Bell. The girls at work and I were excited thinking it was going to be one of them, but when I called the Starbucks in that shopping center (of course there’s a Starbucks) to find out what fast food restaurant was being built, they said it was a Burger King. When I got off the phone and told all my office girls, there was this big, cumulative groan. Nothing against Burger King, but we want our Wendy’s and Taco Bell! There’s a Burger King about 2 miles away, why do we need another one? Whyyyyyyyyy???????? I’ve never heard so many people be so upset about a fast food restaurant in my life.

Big Bang … I love Sheldon Cooper. Love. Him. (And Jim Parsons, the guy that plays him.)

Dimitri Update…Yes, that guy from yesterday is for real. Here’s the Wikipedia entry for him.


Protege said...

Your posts are always so refreshing, I missed them very much!
I can not believe that the guy from yesterday is for real, honestly, this is just surreal.
I was laughing about you using a body wash as a lotion, I have done the exact opposite; tried to wash my hair with a body lotion!:P That was highly annoying.;))

Diane said...

I can't wait to read your autobiography. Can.Not.Wait!

Jenners said...

Why don't you start writing your autobiography on your blog? Post by post? hee hee.

And I'm always writing down "ideas" for blog posts that later either don't make sense or aren't funny. : )

Heather said...

Oh, Sheldon is the BEST. Love him!!!