Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Do Whatever You Want and Have A Great Day

Matthew Rhys…meat salesman
My TV boyfriend is selling meat, and he’s doing a bang-up job! In my Google alerts today, there is an article that says that advertisements narrated by him convinced three out of four shoppers to buy Welsh Beef, making for an increase of 15% over last year. He’s very powerful and popular with the meat-eating populace apparently. And, yes, I have a Google alert for my TV boyfriend. Stop looking at me like that! I have Google alerts for other things too! Like NASA and space, earthquakes and hurricanes, bettas, Carolina basketball, my Olympic boyfriend (shut up!), and my cousin. Just a bunch of stuff. So there! : P* * * * *

Babawawa…I’d only cry because I’d feel trapped by her crazy questions
So last week, over and over, the ad for Babawawa’s OSCAR special was being played. The announcer said she would be asking the questions not asked on the red carpet, then they’d play this soundbite: “Why did you destroy your career?” Is it wrong that I laughed every time?

Skinny Bitch…the book, not me
I’m writing my own book and I’m going to call it Fat Bastard.

IKEA…I want to go to there (points to anyone who gets that reference)
We just got an IKEA in Charlotte! Yay!!! I thought I was excited, but there were people CAMPED OUT for the first day. My friend Kelly went on Saturday and she said it was so crowded they had to take a shuttle bus from where they parked to the store. I’m excited, but I’m not that excited, you know? I’ll wait until some of the newness wears off. Then I’ll go get some meatballs and cheap drinking glasses and a $70 chair I’ve got my eye on.

All newspeople have a signoff…Paula Zahn’s is just a little unusual
There’s this guy named Jack Cafferty that does commentary and answers mail on CNN Morning. I guess one morning back when Paula Zahn was on there, Jack had just given some commentary right before they were getting ready to sign off the air for the morning, and this is what accidentally came out of her mouth: “Jack off and have a good day!”


Protege said...

Hehe to the last one.;))
I got to get myself a TV boyfriend as well.;)
And so funny that IKEA is so popular.;) Although here it is the only store that is crowded at any time of the day, at any day of the week, in any season. In my city it has the tiniest of parking places you an imagine and a visit to IKEA is a nightmare. Such a shame, as I love that store.:( My whole house is furnished and decorated by IKEA stuff.
By the way, if you can boy food there, make sure to try the "Dajm Pie", I think it might be called that way in English. It is HEAVENLY!;))

Protege said...

And a big minus on my spelling.;)
Sorry for all the typos.:P

Heather said...

I want an IKEA in my town. :(
Small town's really suck sometimes. (I'm grumpy today, can ya tell??)
Anyway, as always your post made me laugh - especially the "Jack off and have a good day" part. HA!!

Diane said...

Fat Bastard made me snort. It hurt. But it was good.

I'm coming down to go to Ikea. Well, to see you, too, of course. But also to go to Ikea. I need nothing, can afford less, and still, I want to go. Yeah, I'm an enigma (or was that 'idiot'? Yeah, I'm that, too).

Jenners said...

OK I'm just going to jump right to IKEA. I LOOOOOOVVVVVEEE IKEA. It is so addictive. The only real problem is the whole assembly thing -- IKEA furniture assembly has caused vicious fights and cussing between my husband and me than any other thing (besides navigating a car while on vacation). When we got our "real" house, we swore we would get "real" furniture and break away from IKEA. But then we saw how much real furniture costs and our house is probably 65% IKEA stuff. I love it. You will probably spend a small fortune there so be careful. And be careful that you take into account the size of your car when you buy.

And shouldn't we all have a TV boyfriend who is good at selling meat?

Kitten said...

Ahhh, I loves me the IKEA. It's an experience just to go there and browse...

I'm with Jenners on the assembly. I've never seen directions quite like the ones IKEA gives in its furniture. Sometimes the illustrations are, well, open to interpretation. In other words, if you're not careful, then you may end up with a chaise lounge when you really bought a bed.