Obsessed With Six Words

It’s Thursday again, and that means it’s time for Kathy’s Weekly Writer’s Workshop. Check out her blog at Mama’s Losin’ It.

There were two prompts that appealed to me. The first one was “Describe your latest obsession”.

Okay, obsession is too strong a word. Anyone who has read my blog before knows that I’m not obsessed with Ryan Lochte, the best guy swimmer in the world not named Michael Phelps. Definitely not. And, I didn’t buy the latest GQ magazine because he had a layout in it (like I was a 12 year-old buying a Teen Beat magazine). I did not!! Stop looking at me like that! GAH! Oh, you want a description? Okay… Man! He’s so pretty! Man! He’s got a yummy tummy! Man! He’s got a gorgeous smile! Man! He's a good swimmer! Crap! He’s 15 years younger than I am! Crap! This is totally inappropriate; I mean, I was getting ready to start high school when he was born! Dude! He’s hot and I don’t care that he’s 15 years younger than I am and that my whatever-it-is-that-isn’t-an-obsession is completely age-inappropriate. Not obsessed. No, definitely not. Just enjoying the pretty.

The second prompt that appealed to me was “Ask a loved one to describe you with 6 descriptive words. How well do they know you?” So, to keep it in the bloggy family, I asked my best friend Diane from Diane’s Addled Ramblings to give me those 6 words. I’ve known Diane since 1990, and it is not an exaggeration to say that we didn’t like each other at first. She thought I was a snob. I thought she was just not very nice. I don’t even know for sure how it happened that we got past that and became friends, but we did and we’ve been friends ever since.

When I asked her for the 6 words, I was a little worried because, you know, she’s Diane and she lives to tease people. So, here goes (in her words exactly as she sent them to me):

• Funny (as friggin’ HELL)
• Smart (as friggin’ HELL)
• Huge-hearted (I figure that encompasses loving, caring, sappy, etc)
• Generous
• Integrity-driven (I wanted to say moral, but that sounds sort of pompous, and integritous isn’t a word)
• Goofy - Hey, can you replace Goofy with Snarky…so…
• Snarky

Well, first of all, I’d like to thank her for thinking these things about me. And, I have to say, I think she knows me pretty well.

• Funny – See, Diane? She’s not very bright and laughs at knock-knock jokes, so yeah, she thinks I’m funny.
• Smart - I’ve got her fooled with the smart thing. It helps that she lives far away and I always have a computer handy with a Google screen open.
• Huge-hearted – Well, I thought she meant my congenital oversized heart condition at first, but apparently she meant that I’m nice. Which is good, because that would have been kind of mean to bring up my condition in front of all you people. Okay, I guess it’s true that I’m nice. Kind of. I just smile a lot, which is deceptive, and she’s really naïve so she confuses that with being nice.
• Generous – Well, sure, she’d think that since I’m using credit cards I opened in her name to buy presents for her. Wait ‘til she checks her credit report!
• Integrity-driven – She made up the word integritous for me. That’s a friend, I’ll tell ya! She thinks I don’t lie and that I’m fairly honorable. But, really, I’m just a good actress.
• Goofy, wait, no, Snarky – I don’t know where she gets that I’m snarky. I think she’s nucking futs.

Okay, here I go being all integritous and huge-hearted: Thank you Dianabelle for your kind words, and I’m awaiting the (not-so-kind) words you use to describe the obsession part of this post. Love ya! Mean it! Mwah!
Your BFFF,
Melaroni