Friday, July 17, 2009

There Are No GPS Coordinates for Processed Cheese

My future Grammarian…My niece Bebe knows she’s not allowed to say certain words, and is all over it when she hears someone say one. She was singing Kelly Clarkson’s song “My Life Would Suck Without You” while coloring a couple of weeks ago. She stopped coloring and said, “I know I’m not supposed to say that word, so I’ll say ‘orange’ instead.” So, now the song is “My Life Would Orange Without You.” Then, one night as the girls were talking to their father on the phone, Yaya asked him, “Where are you at?” Cori told her not to say “at”. Bebe said, “Yeah, because ‘at’ is a bad word.” I’m telling you, she is truly – no bs – the funniest kid I’ve ever met, and hopefully she’ll have really great grammar.

Sadness is a four letter word: Reid… Aw, my sweet, funny, adorable Bachelorette contestant ended up broken-hearted Monday night when Jillian kicked him to the curb because (GASP!) he couldn’t tell her he was going to propose after they’ve only known each other for 6 weeks, and really haven’t spent much of that time alone (not to mention she's been dating 24 other dudes).

Seriously, Reid, if you have any interest in a woman a little older than you are, slightly chubby, with commitment issues of her own (including our shared inability to say “I love you”), but who understands that actions speak much louder than words, you just bring your cute little behind on down to Charlotte. I think the real estate market is still pretty decent down here, so there’s a good chance you can find a job. And, I will very gladly let you call me Honeybear (even though I’m not normally big on cutesy nicknames, I’ll make allowances for you). And, as always, wear your glasses, Pookie…um…wabbit.

So lost…My sister has the worst direction in the world. Take her from the small town she’s lived in for most of her life and plop her down here? Between her natural bad direction and being in a much larger city than she’s used to, she’s gotten lost A LOT! Add to that the quirkiness of Charlotte’s roads, where one road can have 5 or 6 names depending on how far you travel on it, and where there’s a very interesting intersection at Queens Road and Providence Road (just pull it up on Mapquest). Anyway, I spend a lot of time on the phone with her with Mapquest on my computer for back-up, directing her here and there. She called me Tuesday, and when I answered the phone, she said, “I don’t want to discuss how I ended up where I am, but could you tell me how to get where I’m going?” I know she said this because twice she’s called me from the adjacent county because she’s gone the wrong way on the major road that leads to my house. Yesterday, however, I got the best call from her yet. She was in the grocery store around the corner from my house and she ASKED ME DIRECTIONS TO THE VELVEETA AND BISQUICK! I mean, how do you not laugh at that?

Congratulate me darnit!...Shellie at Layers of Thought gave me an award! It’s the Lemonade Award which is a feel-good award for blogs that show great attitude or gratitude. I’m gonna take a leap and saying that I show attitude. I’ll get to the giving later on. Thanks Shellie! Oh, wait! There’s the gratitude!


Protege said...

Congratulations on the award! It is a good one, I like the sentiment.;))
I am like your sister, I have no sense of direction. But I do ok with a map. However, in a mall, when I go into a store, when I get out again, I go in the direction I came from (so the opposite) almost at all times.;))
Your niece is a fun girl:;)) It is a great to have kids around just because of the tings they say.;))

Heather said...

Congrats on the award!!

And thanks for the laughs. Your neices sound precious. I LOVE your random posts. They make my day :)

Anonymous said...

LOL that kiddo sounds like a cutie and your sister? Hopefully she can find her way ... I feel her pain with the sense (or lack thereof) of direction. Maybe get her a GPS? I love ours! I never would have left the house without it when we moved.

Jenners said...

Congrats...OK, that is out of the way. I'm thinking living with your sister and nieces is FANTASTIC for blog posts! Too funny.

Diane said...

I was going to say that Bebe gets it all from you... then I read the bit about Cori. Of course, she probably gets it from you, too...