Wednesday, October 22, 2008

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Mad Men,
I love you the most! I was just complaining a couple of weeks ago about how unentertaining television was lately, and then you changed my mind in one hour this past Sunday. Every accolade, every award you have received was vindicated. I sat watching with my mouth open for most of the show. You are a master storyteller, building the tension all season long, throwing crumbs along the way for us to follow and then paying off in a big way. Seeing Don for the first time really be himself, seeing what Peggy has learned since last year when she asked Don for a raise and her own desk, seeing Roger, well, do what Roger does, seeing Joan, oh well, seeing Joan :(

You are art in television form! This Sunday can’t come soon enough. Love, Mel

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Dear Britney,
I don’t want you to go nuckin’ futs again. I want you to be sane and see your children and have a decent life that you’re in control of, but please stop singing Womanizer at me every time I listen to the radio, turn on my television, open a web browser, or visit a store. Mkay? Thanks! M

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Dear Facebook,
Stop telling me that there are people who hate me and think they’re smarter than I am. I’m new to this and it hurts my feelings.
Sincerely,
Mel

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Dear Diane,
Shut up!
Love ya! Mean it! Melaroni

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Dear Cori,
I miss my sidda too! XXOO

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Dear Government,
Yes, thank you, a stimulus check for the little guys would be nice this fall.
Give it!!
Mel (on behalf of a lot of people)

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Dear Ryan Lochte, Michael Phelps, and Aaron Peirsol,
Please go back to wearing Speedos like you did in the Olympics, because I’ve seen pictures of you guys in regular people clothes, and the sight ain’t pretty. Does the chlorine cloud your fashion sense or, perhaps, take it away entirely?
From a very appreciative nation (as long as you go back to the Speedos)

2 comments:

Diane said...

Facebook is hurting your feelings? Seriously? Do you even have a Facebook page? Seriously? Dork.

And you shut up.

Mel said...

Yeah, well, see the letter I wrote to you. I knew I'd need to use those words today. Just shhhhhh!